My story (and how you can avoid my mistakes):
Have you ever known the pain of making a mistake with a man that you would give anything to undo?
Have you ever said something you regret to a man you really love?
Ever lost your cool and embarrassed yourself?
Ever feel like you're even more angry at yourself than he could ever be?
And what about things that are much, much worse - downright horrifying??
I'm talking about completely losing it in front of him.
I'm talking about cheating on him - and losing his trust.
It doesn't get much worse than that!
But there really is good news, because if anyone in the world understands the pain and horror of making a terrible mistake with a man, it's me!
I Lost the Love of My Life
I know without a doubt that I lost the first love of my life due completely to my own repeated mistakes.
When I look back, knowing what I know now, I absolutely marvel at how blisteringly EASY it would have been to marry this man.
After all, he ASKED me to marry him at one point.
But then his doubts set in....
We stayed together, even after that... and were in a committed relationship for six months longer.
Then our relationship started to fade.
But I still had SEVERAL opportunities to pick up the pieces.
And with those chances to make things come together, I failed at several critical turning points!!
Why Should You Listen To Me?
In case you're wondering who I am, my name is Mimi Tanner, and I have a deep and profound understanding of relationship mistakes and regret.
Just talking about all this makes me cringe at times!! It's not an easy subject to talk about!
Helping people with relationships is my "calling." I've wanted to do this since I was a thirteen-year-old kid and first began to understand what being in love feels like.
I'm the author of several books on relationships, and I've been writing a daily email column for women since 2005.
But THIS is a story I have never shared completely.
This is No Made-Up Story - It's Painfully True
When I fell for my first true love, the stakes were very high.
You know what I mean... when you know this is IT and you want everything to go well!
You know you want to be with this man forever.
My relationship didn't last forever, unfortunately...
But it took several years from start to finish.
The Final Blow (Can You Guess What?)
What was the final blow? The final blow was pretty rough.
Our relationship had gone from stars in our eyes, being madly and mutually in love, and spending every day together... to living across the country from each other and occasionally visiting.
The visits got farther and farther apart and I THOUGHT I'd accepted that it was over. I'd long since started dating and having lovers.
But then one day, I got THE CALL.
The call where he told me he was GETTING MARRIED to someone I'd never even heard him mention.
Their wedding was two months away. He sounded very happy.
By this time, our relationship had been over for years, having sputtered to the finish line like a car slowly running out of gas.
And now he was getting married.
Did I calmly wish him all the best? Did I share in his joy?
No, I completely LOST IT on the phone. And I do mean LOST IT... I was stunned... I was shattered. I was basically hysterical.
It just couldn't happen that I could lose him. But I did.
He Was Marrying Someone Else
I could NOT accept this in my mind. These days, they would say, "I could not wrap my head around this!"
It could NOT be possible that he could actually marry someone else. No matter what, he and I were meant to be together!
I could never shake that conviction, not even years later (despite plenty of proof that it was NOT meant to be for a lot of good reasons!)
A day or so later, I recovered my composure and wished him happiness. Six or seven years later I visited him and his wife with my husband and baby, even!
Even then I tried to talk to him about "relationship stuff" when we had a moment alone. "So, how are you? Are you happy?" Can you believe that???
But even by that time I knew without a doubt some of the CRITICAL mistakes I'd made that kept me from marrying my first true lifetime love.
He would have been my ONLY love, if I had only known the things I know now.
That's why I can understand on the deepest possible level when I receive heartbreaking emails every single day.
The Most Painful Question I Am Asked
I get this one PAINFUL question over and over:
"Is it possible to recover from an embarrassing mistake with a man?
"And is it possible to recover from a HORRIBLE mistake with a man??
Here's the good news - the answer is usually YES!
I am going to convince you that this is absolutely TRUE.
So, what are some of the most common relationship blunders?
Let's take a quick look at some typical RELATIONSHIP BLOOPERs:
How Bad Can Things Get? Pretty Bad!
Calling him too often (stop chasing him so he can chase YOU)
Asking him where this relationship is going (oh no, you didn't)
Spilling your guts to him about anything (save it for your shrink)
Getting overly emotional at the wrong time (meanwhile he wasn't)
Angry outbursts (that wasn't yelling, that was loud talking)
Rudeness (yikes - did he see your claws?)
Acting insecure and clingy (further driving him away)
Bringing up the subject of commitment WAY too soon
Talking too much about the future (he says he's not ready)
Telling him about your past (now he knows too much!!)
And those are just the little mistakes - other mistakes include showing rage, cheating on him, and other relationship nightmares!
Somehow you have found me on the internet... the one and only website devoted to fixing the mistakes that ruin your love life.
Here's some good news that is more important than you may realize: Men are very forgiving.
Men don't see things the way WE see them - thank goodness!
And men's opinions of you can be shaped by your current behavior, regardless of your past behavior. There really IS hope.
What I Want To Show You
How to regain a man's interest when he is spending less and
less time with you - or has stopped seeing you completely.
What to do if you said "I Love You" first - but now wish you had waited. Yes, you should avoid saying "I love you" first, and here's how to recover the magic if your man has distanced himself after you said those three little words.
Did you come on too strong with the man you want? You're not alone. This happens to so many women. Here's how to turn that around, as if it never happened.
Why you definitely should not sleep with your man too soon (or until he marries you, depending on your religious beliefs). Here's what to do if you did sleep with him too soon and now he has lost interest in you.
How to know which mistakes you can recover from, and when to cut your losses.
Emergency "damage control" to recover from a serious blunder.
Mimi Tanner's work is loved by readers worldwide. She is best known for her daily email column, and for Secrets of Flirting with Men, Calling Men, and Hard To Get - The Timeless Art of Conquering His Heart.
How to reinvent your image in his eyes - it can be done!
Again, MOST "Man Mistakes" are fixable - I'll tell you why, and I'll show you exactly HOW you can do it.
How to regain your man's interest, even if you have lost it.
What about drinking too much on a date? Some women do things when they're drunk that they deeply regret later. Find out how women have recovered from this fiasco.
How to avoid mistakes on a date - find out where the real problem is coming from and WHY men get turned off so quickly. You may be shocked to recognize the mistakes you have been making, and how you may have been coming across to men!
Why you should not reveal too much personal information about yourself in the beginning, and what to do if you already have done this.
What if you said or did something you deeply regret? What should you do?
What if you have cheated on your man? How to understand the way men truly feel about cheating -why you should never make this mistake, and what you can do to fix it if you already have.
How to avoid desperation in your secret "self-talk" thinking so you can shine with confidence.
The Complete Man Mistake Eraser Formula for recovering from your mistakes with men.
How to choose the right kind of man - don't make the biggest "man mistake" by choosing a loser who will cause you to regret your choice!
It's all about regaining your power and taking control of the situation - in a loving, feminine, and charming way. He'll only know that the girl he fell for is "back"!
You will see the change in how men respond to you immediately WHEN you sincerely apply these teachings!
We all feel like we've made mistakes with men. Man Mistake Eraser will change the way you look at your relationships and how you handle them - for good!
Some of the biggest disasters in relationships happen at the very beginning. Because of this, a relationship that might have been promising - never gets off the ground. Things stop even before they start!
I received this question:
Could you let myself and others know if there is any way of redeeming yourself when you realize you've already revealed too much?
What C. is talking about is "TMI" - when you reveal Too Much Information about yourself, or the wrong kind of information, too early in a relationship.
"To Tell or Not To Tell" - what and when, how much and why - is truly important. If you underestimate what your man can hear - and when - it can end up hurting you even more than it hurts him.
This topic is thoroughly covered in my program "Man Mistake Eraser."
When you are falling in love with a new man, your own strong feelings can lead you to believe that he has an incredible insight into your heart. This alone can lead you to start telling him your life story starting from Kindergarten.
It can also lead you to think that he is interested in every little detail of your day.
Once you head down that road, you're heading for trouble.
He doesn't need to know about your allergies, phobias, or medications!
In sickness and in health starts when you say "I do," but NOT when "it's just lunch"!!
It's not just the little things like your yukky boss or the outstanding warrant that are "too much information too soon." :)
More often, we tend to spill the beans on other things that are even closer to the heart.
One of the main ways this happens is by getting too SERIOUS too soon. This is a true relationship-killer!
Another bad move is to tell him a lot about your children right away. He'll get the idea that you are wondering if he's "stepdad material"!
But we ALL make mistakes. You're heard the old phrase "Love makes fools of us all" - it's so true.
Can you fix it if you have said things which make a man start to lose faith in your confidence in yourself?
If you love men, as I am sure you do, then you know that men are forgiving creatures... you can reinvent their image of you. It most definitely is possible to do this. Thank goodness...!
Yes, Even Your Love Life Requires Discipline!
There is one way to get rid of a guy fast - even a great guy - when you least want to get rid of him. So let's make sure this does not happen to us.
Don't be the first one to say "I love you."
No one likes the idea of telling a woman that she should, in principle, not be the first one to say "I love you" in a relationship with a man.
However, for many very good reasons, this guideline has stood the test of time - for most situations.
Your feelings are important - but this does not mean that you should always express them right away.
Let's put the odds in your favor, and protect you from the kind of emotional impulses that unfortunately can cause a man to withdraw from you.
Yes, sometimes we do have to exercise discipline and restraint in life to get what we want. This is true when it comes to everything from getting good grades in school to having a fit body to driving a car. We have to follow guidelines and we can't always do what we feel like doing, can we?
From Man Mistake Eraser: Why He Needs to Say "I Love You" First
Here is what NOT to do if you want to keep the interest of a man who has not yet made a commitment to you: in general, the woman should not be the first one to say "I love you"!
You may be feeling this love for him; your love may be true; and it may also be true that he loves you, too. But until HE says these words to you, he is not ready for this huge step forward in your relationship.
As we all know, saying "I love you" is a major milestone in any romantic relationship. To a woman, it is a time for rejoicing. However, if a man is not ready for this, all he will be feeling is pressure when he hears you say those words, EVEN IF HE IS FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU.
Unfortunately, even if he IS in that delicious "falling in love" process, your saying "I love you" first can be like a huge "wake up call" for him. It may cause him to suddenly realize that things are getting VERY serious.
That is part of what you'll discover in Man Mistake Eraser!
One owner of this program wrote this:
"Thank you, Mimi, The session on not saying 'I love you' first is a keeper to be read and re-read over and over again! It is the best advice I've read in a very long time! All women need to know this and remember!"
"Man Mistake Eraser" truly delivers in helping you to recover from mistakes AND to prevent them in the future.
We all feel like we've made mistakes with men. Man Mistake Eraser will change the way you look at your relationships and how you handle them - for good!
In the words of Mimi Tanner: "To err is human... to RECOVER WITH GRACE is.... simply divine!!"
What Women Are Saying about "Man Mistake Eraser"
You go, Mimi! I hope these women "get" what you are saying.
You are a potential life preserver for many, Mimi.....I hope they grab the HUGE BUOY OF INFORMATION you throw to them as they flail along in the sea of relationships.......you offer them the ways and means to preserve their precious life, sanity, dignity and INTEGRITY!!!!!!
Wanted to give you a thanks for your amazing work. I've purchased almost all of your programs, and today I purchased your "Man Mistake Eraser" guide.
I just want to say, from someone who's read EVERYTHING there is to read about dating and relationships, nothing comes close to this!!!
Finally, a positive out look and an ANSWER on what to ACTUALLY do instead of pages and pages of junk! I'm a huge fan of yours and will continue to support ANY of your work!
Here's What You Get With 'Man Mistake Eraser: How To Regain A Man's Interest
How One Woman Turned Her Relationship Around. Case Study: How She Got His Interest Back After He Backed Away
How to Get Back Together with a Man You are No Longer Seeing - Exactly What to Say and Do
Why You Don't Need to Be Perfect With Men
Don't Say "I Love You" First: Here's How to Recover If You Said "I Love You" First or Too Soon
Don't Sleep With Him Too Soon - and How To Recover If You Already Made This Mistake and Still Want Him Back
Stinking Drinking: How to Recover When You Have Been "Drunk as a Skunk" In Front of Him and Done Something Embarrassing - also: Men Who Can't Say I Love You Unless They're Drunk
Choosing the Right Man: How to Recognize the Kind of Man You'll Be Glad You Married - Even If You Divorce Him Someday!
Your Past: To Tell or Not To Tell.
How to Recover If You Said Too Much, Too Soon
A Complete Mini-Book (44 pages). Don't reveal too much about your past too soon - and what to do if he already knows things which make either of you uncomfortable or worse!
You Think This Will Last, So You Reveal Too Much
The Dangers of Revealing the Past
Very Few Men Have the Right to Even Ask About Your Past
Does He Really Need to Know? Why?
Even Wonderful Men Can't Handle the "Past" - More Often Than You Might Think
Men Who Want to Know Your Past for the Wrong Reasons
Men Who Use Your Past Against You
What You Reveal to Him May Not Stay Private
"But I Want To Tell Him About THAT!"
Most Readers Agree: Think Twice about Sharing the Past
What To Do When a Man Wants to Talk About Your Past
Dealing With Regret and Remorse
Virgin or Not? When will that be his business??
When He Wants to Know How Many Men You Have Slept With
The Risks of Being "Open and Honest"
The Difference Between Discretion and Secrets
Medical Issues - what should you talk about, and when?
Should you use humor at a time like this?
How to Talk to Him about Your Past
When He Won't Stop Asking
What if he keeps talking about HIS past?
What to Say When He's Obsessed with his Ex
How To Recover When You've Revealed Too Much Too Soon
Cheating - The Man Mistake in a Class by Itself. How to Get His Forgiveness and Start Over
Almost-Fatal Man Mistakes: How to Revive Your Relationship
The Complete "Love Potion" for How to Regain a Man's Interest
Special Report: The Role of Attraction: Attraction Covers a Multitude of Sins
Special Report: Damage Control - When You Need to Stop the Bleeding!
"Mimi Tanner is simply one of the best when it comes to writing to women on the art of finding and keeping a great man.
She has become well-known on a global scale in a relatively short time. Why? Because she covers highly in-demand
subjects with a flair and disarming friendliness that is unequalled."
Relationship Coaches Scot and Emily McKay
Hosts of "X and Y on the Fly" Podcasts
You can regain your man's interest and reinvent your image with him!
Celebrities and public figures hire professionals to help them do exactly these things all the time - and you can do this, too. You don't need to hire an expert; you can find out how to do fix what went wrong with your man by carefully going through my extremely detailed guide to fixing ANY "man mistake" no matter how tough it is!
Yes, I lost my first love, but what I learned from this experience has helped SEVERAL HUNDRED THOUSAND WOMEN!
You don't have to make any of the mistakes I did! But women are making these same mistakes DAY AFTER DAY, only because they don't know how to avoid these landmines. So LET ME HELP YOU avoid mistakes AND recover from any past mistakes. It can be done!
A few months back I told you about my relationship with a man who clearly told me that his last girlfriend tried to be too serious and he bolted ("listen to his words!").
Well, we just got married and I couldn't be happier.
Even now, though, I still like to make him chase a little.
He keeps telling me how lucky he is.
We have a lot of FUN! Isn't that what it's all about?
Mimi, I just wanted to tell you that because of you and your writings, the way I went about things,
I got the best husband in the world. I was doing things all wrong. I took your advice and it worked.
I still read all your emails.
I thoroughly love your emails.
I am also currently in a relationship with a very warm and loving man. He is nine years my junior. I almost ruined the relationship due to my insecurities.
However, reading your articles and two books giving me insight into the makeup of men, I was able to turn it around.
Now we are extremely happy and doing well. I thank you for all your research, input and care you put to each and every article.
A devoted reader